This chapter is all about the lies we tell, both to others and to ourselves. How many "reasons" do you have for not getting off the couch? For why you need to order Chinese instead of cooking something nutritious? Believe me, I've used them all, and they are not reasons. They are excuses. Let's look at my biggest two:
"I'm in too much pain to cook." That's a biggie, and borders on legitimate. The pain in my kidneys does restrict me from doing things SOMEtimes. But why can't I pre-cook good meals to freeze on days I'm feeling okay? It isn't any harder to throw a casserole in the oven than it is a pizza.
"I'm too tired to exercise." Whose fault is that but mine? It is LACK of exercise that ultimately exhausts us. We need to move, so that our bodies can more efficiently make energy. A little push now, and I will be in much better condition later. Nothing worth having is easy, especially at first.
What are yours? Are you too busy? Too hungry to wait? Is it too hot/cold to go outside? Those are roadblocks that we construct to keep us from doing what we know is right. I bought my copy of Body Clutter secondhand, and it has some underlining. One of the things that the previous owner highlighted was "...our excuses reveal a lack of character on our part, an ugly dent in our personal integrity." Um, ouch. That really hits too close to home for me.
No questions this chapter, just a request to write down your biggest excuses, which I have started above. Others include "I'm just overwhelmed." "I need a minute" (that never comes). "I have nothing to wear." "I just need a nap first." "I don't have time/a ride/the money to go get my prescription filled." "I don't know where to start."
Well, as far as the last one goes, I'm starting here and now. I'm tackling my bad attitudes, and conquering my fears. I am taking baby-steps towards having a clean kitchen stocked with healthy foods. I am committing to moving my body everyday, and taking care of it with the medicines it needs.
BTW guys, I THRIVE on comments, so please, don't be afraid to leave some. Such as, what are some of your excuses for not living as fully and healthfully as you know you should?
Showing posts with label fitness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fitness. Show all posts
22 May 2012
21 May 2012
A TIme For Change
Hey look! I renovated! Severe boredom necessitates change.
Anywho. I'm still recovering from yesterday's intensity, and working on my root. Today's mission: clean the kitchen. Simply must be done, no putting it off any longer. Simply put, I'm finding that the cause of my root issues stems from the illusion that I have lost control. The more I sit around feeling that I have lost control of my health and my house, the more both of those things spiral. It is a vicious cycle, and I am here to break it.
By cleaning the kitchen, I am taking back the control of both my home and my health. It is a first step in getting the house presentable. And while I am still waiting on my DVD's, kitchen clean-up also marks my first step in claiming control of my health. I can't get better if my food is prepared and stored in filth. And I can't prepare healthful foods if all of the space is taken up with trash and dirty dishes, and I can't store it in a fridge that is full of past-its-prime leftovers.
This truly is a time for change. A time for renovations. New site, clean house, sound mind, healthy body. Good things are coming my way. I can feel it.
Anywho. I'm still recovering from yesterday's intensity, and working on my root. Today's mission: clean the kitchen. Simply must be done, no putting it off any longer. Simply put, I'm finding that the cause of my root issues stems from the illusion that I have lost control. The more I sit around feeling that I have lost control of my health and my house, the more both of those things spiral. It is a vicious cycle, and I am here to break it.
By cleaning the kitchen, I am taking back the control of both my home and my health. It is a first step in getting the house presentable. And while I am still waiting on my DVD's, kitchen clean-up also marks my first step in claiming control of my health. I can't get better if my food is prepared and stored in filth. And I can't prepare healthful foods if all of the space is taken up with trash and dirty dishes, and I can't store it in a fridge that is full of past-its-prime leftovers.
This truly is a time for change. A time for renovations. New site, clean house, sound mind, healthy body. Good things are coming my way. I can feel it.
16 May 2012
Body Clutter Chapter 2
I am really bad at his whole "consistency" thing, aren't I? It's been a busy couple of days, but I am back.
Chapter 2 is about the lies that the "diet" industry sells us. They want you to believe that there really is a shortcut, and theirs is the path to salvation from obesity. Then, when it fails, they are right there to sell you a new snake oil because *this time* will be different. I cannot tell you how much this affected me, or for how long. And I know it isn't just me. We are bombarded with so many images of people who succeed on these programs, that the only conclusion we are left with is that *we* are the ones to blame, the ones who failed.
This, friends, is BULLSH*T. The simple truth is that there is no quick fix, no shortcut to health (and really, do I even have to say it? The focus should be on health, NOT weight or size). We are being lied to daily, and we are living the lies as if they are truth. Then why are we failing? Because successful weight loss means we don't need them anymore. A healthier person doesn't need a new miracle diet or pill or surgery. Why would an industry that makes millions off of people with low self-image want to improve that image?
Several questions this chapter. First, what is your image of beautiful? Mine is having a body strong enough to love my hubby, spoil my nieces and nephews and keep my home clean. Caring about myself enough to shower daily (yes, I am depressed and skip days, no, I don't care what you think of that). Being healthy enough to carry my clean laundry up to the second floor from the basement without being winded. Maintaining my loving nature, and developing some humility and patience. My idea of beauty truly comes from the inside.
Next: what diets and such have you tried and how did you do? I played a lot of soccer as a child, also did some weight training at the YMCA. I did well with both, not really getting thinner, but at least I wasn't getting fatter. As I grew up, I mostly tried exercise, from more weights, to yoga (which I still love to this day), Tai Chi (also awesome) and the Couch to 5K program, which I love, but never stuck with. Diet-wise, I've tried and failed at Slim-Fast (awful, hateful stuff), the Hollywood Fast (made it through about 36 of 48 hours), and Herbalife (made me sick to my stomach). The only diet that ever worked for me was Atkins, which did wonders for my energy levels and waistline. The big problem? Meat is EXPENSIVE. So I never stuck with it.
It then asks you to go back to your teen years to reconstruct your weight timeline. Mine is fairly simple. I was about 180 when I was 15, gained about 100 pounds over the course of the next 3 years, and eventually (I think I was actually 20) I leveled out at my current 310ish. No true trigger situation, just a lifetime of poor eating and no exercise combined with hormones. I also have PCOS, so that contributed.
Finally, health issues. Again, PCOS. Also, pre-diabetic insulin resistance, borderline thyroid issues, severe hypertension and possibly whatever is going on with my kidneys.
I'll try to be back tomorrow for chapter 3. Love you guys (especially whoever is reading me in Russia and Germany! That's insanely cool).
Chapter 2 is about the lies that the "diet" industry sells us. They want you to believe that there really is a shortcut, and theirs is the path to salvation from obesity. Then, when it fails, they are right there to sell you a new snake oil because *this time* will be different. I cannot tell you how much this affected me, or for how long. And I know it isn't just me. We are bombarded with so many images of people who succeed on these programs, that the only conclusion we are left with is that *we* are the ones to blame, the ones who failed.
This, friends, is BULLSH*T. The simple truth is that there is no quick fix, no shortcut to health (and really, do I even have to say it? The focus should be on health, NOT weight or size). We are being lied to daily, and we are living the lies as if they are truth. Then why are we failing? Because successful weight loss means we don't need them anymore. A healthier person doesn't need a new miracle diet or pill or surgery. Why would an industry that makes millions off of people with low self-image want to improve that image?
Several questions this chapter. First, what is your image of beautiful? Mine is having a body strong enough to love my hubby, spoil my nieces and nephews and keep my home clean. Caring about myself enough to shower daily (yes, I am depressed and skip days, no, I don't care what you think of that). Being healthy enough to carry my clean laundry up to the second floor from the basement without being winded. Maintaining my loving nature, and developing some humility and patience. My idea of beauty truly comes from the inside.
Next: what diets and such have you tried and how did you do? I played a lot of soccer as a child, also did some weight training at the YMCA. I did well with both, not really getting thinner, but at least I wasn't getting fatter. As I grew up, I mostly tried exercise, from more weights, to yoga (which I still love to this day), Tai Chi (also awesome) and the Couch to 5K program, which I love, but never stuck with. Diet-wise, I've tried and failed at Slim-Fast (awful, hateful stuff), the Hollywood Fast (made it through about 36 of 48 hours), and Herbalife (made me sick to my stomach). The only diet that ever worked for me was Atkins, which did wonders for my energy levels and waistline. The big problem? Meat is EXPENSIVE. So I never stuck with it.
It then asks you to go back to your teen years to reconstruct your weight timeline. Mine is fairly simple. I was about 180 when I was 15, gained about 100 pounds over the course of the next 3 years, and eventually (I think I was actually 20) I leveled out at my current 310ish. No true trigger situation, just a lifetime of poor eating and no exercise combined with hormones. I also have PCOS, so that contributed.
Finally, health issues. Again, PCOS. Also, pre-diabetic insulin resistance, borderline thyroid issues, severe hypertension and possibly whatever is going on with my kidneys.
I'll try to be back tomorrow for chapter 3. Love you guys (especially whoever is reading me in Russia and Germany! That's insanely cool).
10 May 2012
Body Clutter Chapter 1
Welcome to today, Part 2. :)
There are 14 chapters in Body Clutter, and I will be attempting to work through one chapter a day. Last time I tried this, I only made it to chapter 4, but I have big plans this time! By the way, I was using a hand drawn birthday card from my younger brother as a bookmark, and the poem he wrote on it is just perfect. He said:
May all of your goals and dreams come true
Good health and happiness I wish upon you
Times are tough, work is hard
I hope you find comfort in reading this card!
ANYWHO...To business.
Chapter 1 is titled Food: The Ultimate Weapon of Self-Destruction. The first question it asks is: what is your favorite food, one you can't ever seem to get enough of? For me, that's milk. At the time of my first reading, I could have easily drank a gallon of milk in a sitting, let alone a day. There is just something about that creamy sweetness that is intoxicating for me.
The second question is: Why? Why is your relationship with that particular food so out of balance? I had to really think about it, but I did figure it out. I was a big child, always the most overweight in my already quite large-bodied family. My mother, trying to be kind and save me from the life I am currently living, put strict limits on my food intake. She used to hide the snack cakes and chips so I couldn't find them. This only lead to my sneaking other foods and hiding them in my bedroom, but that is a separate issue.
There were a few foods I could eat as much of as I wanted. Raw broccoli and carrots (with limited amounts of Hidden Valley Ranch dressing), or certain fruits. The one "treat" I was allowed without limitation was milk, and all my mother bought was whole. Like I said, it was creamy and a little sweet, and really felt just decadent. When I craved fat or sugar, I'd ask for milk, and I'd get it. And I would chug it. It became my "legal" escape.
I crave milk now because it feels like a valid comfort, even though I am massively lactose intolerant. You know, I missed several days of school when I was younger because I would wake up feeling sick to my stomach? This went on for YEARS until one fateful week when the hubby and I were living with his parents. They went on a cruise, he had broken his foot and I don't drive, so when we ran out of milk, we stayed out. And guess what? I felt better for the first time since I was about 15.
So, yeah, between that and the realization I had last time I did this chapter, I have mostly brought my milk and dairy consumption under control. (Although, writing about this, I had 2 glasses of Lactaid.)
That's pretty much it. I'm taking my first babysteps towards a healthier attitude and a healthier body. This should be interesting.
There are 14 chapters in Body Clutter, and I will be attempting to work through one chapter a day. Last time I tried this, I only made it to chapter 4, but I have big plans this time! By the way, I was using a hand drawn birthday card from my younger brother as a bookmark, and the poem he wrote on it is just perfect. He said:
May all of your goals and dreams come true
Good health and happiness I wish upon you
Times are tough, work is hard
I hope you find comfort in reading this card!
ANYWHO...To business.
Chapter 1 is titled Food: The Ultimate Weapon of Self-Destruction. The first question it asks is: what is your favorite food, one you can't ever seem to get enough of? For me, that's milk. At the time of my first reading, I could have easily drank a gallon of milk in a sitting, let alone a day. There is just something about that creamy sweetness that is intoxicating for me.
The second question is: Why? Why is your relationship with that particular food so out of balance? I had to really think about it, but I did figure it out. I was a big child, always the most overweight in my already quite large-bodied family. My mother, trying to be kind and save me from the life I am currently living, put strict limits on my food intake. She used to hide the snack cakes and chips so I couldn't find them. This only lead to my sneaking other foods and hiding them in my bedroom, but that is a separate issue.
There were a few foods I could eat as much of as I wanted. Raw broccoli and carrots (with limited amounts of Hidden Valley Ranch dressing), or certain fruits. The one "treat" I was allowed without limitation was milk, and all my mother bought was whole. Like I said, it was creamy and a little sweet, and really felt just decadent. When I craved fat or sugar, I'd ask for milk, and I'd get it. And I would chug it. It became my "legal" escape.
I crave milk now because it feels like a valid comfort, even though I am massively lactose intolerant. You know, I missed several days of school when I was younger because I would wake up feeling sick to my stomach? This went on for YEARS until one fateful week when the hubby and I were living with his parents. They went on a cruise, he had broken his foot and I don't drive, so when we ran out of milk, we stayed out. And guess what? I felt better for the first time since I was about 15.
So, yeah, between that and the realization I had last time I did this chapter, I have mostly brought my milk and dairy consumption under control. (Although, writing about this, I had 2 glasses of Lactaid.)
That's pretty much it. I'm taking my first babysteps towards a healthier attitude and a healthier body. This should be interesting.
Never Give Up
This...this is just terrible. I apologize, really. I can NOT believe that it has been over a year since I last posted. I know, with less than a dozen followers, I'm mostly letting myself down, but dammit, I'm important, too. So, I'm sorry readers. And I'm sorry, me. I'm going to do better. Now to the post.
I, like most of the internet, saw the viral video, linked here. That, if you haven't seen it, is Arthur's story. Seriously, go watch it. I cried. But more importantly, I went looking. I found DDP yoga, created by professional wrestler, Diamond Dallas Page. I looked around his website, and I found another story. Stacey's story. This was a woman who tried everything, even losing 100lbs twice, always coming back to were she had been. And yet, she tried again. For more info, you can read her blog here. After some hemming and hawing about the price with the hubby (I hemmed and hawed, he encouraged), I purchased the DVDs today.
Do not misunderstand me. I am not in this purely for weight-loss. I don't give a damn what I end up looking like. I do care about my health. I care to get off of my blood-pressure medicine. I care to not get winded or achy climbing stars. I care to be the best nurse I can possibly be. And if I choose to have children someday, I care to have a safe pregnancy and a healthy child. So while I EAGERLY await the arrival of my newest obsession, I need to get my mind in the right space to achieve and maintain long-term health. And that means cracking open FlyLady and Dinner Diva's book, Body Clutter.
This is a book geared towards a deeper understanding of why we let our weight spiral out of control in the first place. Knowing our past hurts and letting them go. Understanding our triggers and learning how to over come them. As FlyLady says, Finally Loving Yourself (FLYing). And I'm going to work through it right here on this blog. And when I get my DVDs, I will work through them here, as well. And once I get some on going health issues sorted, I plan to return to my running, to ALSO be chronicled here.
I think I'm ready to be healthy. Wish me luck.
I, like most of the internet, saw the viral video, linked here. That, if you haven't seen it, is Arthur's story. Seriously, go watch it. I cried. But more importantly, I went looking. I found DDP yoga, created by professional wrestler, Diamond Dallas Page. I looked around his website, and I found another story. Stacey's story. This was a woman who tried everything, even losing 100lbs twice, always coming back to were she had been. And yet, she tried again. For more info, you can read her blog here. After some hemming and hawing about the price with the hubby (I hemmed and hawed, he encouraged), I purchased the DVDs today.
Do not misunderstand me. I am not in this purely for weight-loss. I don't give a damn what I end up looking like. I do care about my health. I care to get off of my blood-pressure medicine. I care to not get winded or achy climbing stars. I care to be the best nurse I can possibly be. And if I choose to have children someday, I care to have a safe pregnancy and a healthy child. So while I EAGERLY await the arrival of my newest obsession, I need to get my mind in the right space to achieve and maintain long-term health. And that means cracking open FlyLady and Dinner Diva's book, Body Clutter.
This is a book geared towards a deeper understanding of why we let our weight spiral out of control in the first place. Knowing our past hurts and letting them go. Understanding our triggers and learning how to over come them. As FlyLady says, Finally Loving Yourself (FLYing). And I'm going to work through it right here on this blog. And when I get my DVDs, I will work through them here, as well. And once I get some on going health issues sorted, I plan to return to my running, to ALSO be chronicled here.
I think I'm ready to be healthy. Wish me luck.
24 June 2010
The Heat...
... is holding me hostage. There have been heat advisories these past couple of days, cautioning even experienced runners to stay indoors. I'm looking for an elliptical or treadmill so I can train indoors on the hot (or cold) days when going out isn't practical. Yesterday, istead of running, I went to the mall, and did a little mall walking, but it just wasn't enough to really get my heart rate up. I may go swimming tomorrow, if it doesn't rain again.
I really hate stuff like this, ya know? I'm all determined, and then something breaks my rhythm. I'm jumping right back in as soon as I can, but who knows when that will be? I may start running at night. It's well lit here, and if I go out before 10, relatively safe. I don't relish the thought of running in the dark, but what else can I do? I'm not a morning person, and I will die if I run in 90+ heat. My mom practically begged me not to go out yesterday.
And that's another thing. I know people are just concerned, but holy crap! I'm not an idiot. I weigh in at over 300#, am in *abysmal* shape, and am very new to running. I'm not going to push my self too hard, go to fast, ignore pain or severe shortness of breath, or run in an oven. Seriously. I have medical training, I'm working with a friend who has fitness training, and am following a reasonable plan I have *still* toned down. You people (and you know who you are) can stop worrying. I may be silly, but I am not suicidal.
Anyhoo. I dunno. I guess I need to figure out my alternatives better....
EDIT: I almost forgot to post my progress from Monday! I went running with my friends Mark and Tori. I made it 4 out of 8 intervals, and I *didn't even want to die* at the end. I was sweating like a pig but really invigorated and happy with my progress. Next time I run, I will try for 5 intervals. :D
I really hate stuff like this, ya know? I'm all determined, and then something breaks my rhythm. I'm jumping right back in as soon as I can, but who knows when that will be? I may start running at night. It's well lit here, and if I go out before 10, relatively safe. I don't relish the thought of running in the dark, but what else can I do? I'm not a morning person, and I will die if I run in 90+ heat. My mom practically begged me not to go out yesterday.
And that's another thing. I know people are just concerned, but holy crap! I'm not an idiot. I weigh in at over 300#, am in *abysmal* shape, and am very new to running. I'm not going to push my self too hard, go to fast, ignore pain or severe shortness of breath, or run in an oven. Seriously. I have medical training, I'm working with a friend who has fitness training, and am following a reasonable plan I have *still* toned down. You people (and you know who you are) can stop worrying. I may be silly, but I am not suicidal.
Anyhoo. I dunno. I guess I need to figure out my alternatives better....
EDIT: I almost forgot to post my progress from Monday! I went running with my friends Mark and Tori. I made it 4 out of 8 intervals, and I *didn't even want to die* at the end. I was sweating like a pig but really invigorated and happy with my progress. Next time I run, I will try for 5 intervals. :D
19 June 2010
C25K, W0D1
Good GOD. I am SO out of shape. Thursday, I decided to do a test run of Week 1 Day 1 (W1D1) of the Couch to 5K program. Now, keep in mind, this a a program designed SPECIFICALLY for lazy couch potatoes. W1D1 consists of a five minute warm up, followed by 8 intervals of run 60 seconds, walk 90 seconds, finished with a cool down.
I couldn't even do 3 intervals. Then, I walked home and died for 3 hours. Two days later, I am still sore.
My resolve is strong though. I'm calling it Week 0 until I can run all of the intervals. And I WILL run all of the intervals. I'm calling it the "Coma to 5K." :) I have a few running buddies lined up. It'll be fun. I WILL finish the program.
And they have other programs, too. 5K to 10K, 10K to half marathon, and half marathon to marathon. I want to be running a marathon by my 28th birthday. And I will cry as I cross the finish line.
Because this body? This is a body my doctors have told me will never allow me to have children. A body I am told is trying to kill me. But this is a body that, if worked with, nurtured and trained, will allow me to accomplish anything. Even running a marathon.
And when that day arrives, I will rejoice in all that my body is capable of, how far I have come and how very much it means to my health and my quality of life. I don't care if I'm never not fat, because, hey, I love me. I just want to keep up with my kids WHEN I have them.
I couldn't even do 3 intervals. Then, I walked home and died for 3 hours. Two days later, I am still sore.
My resolve is strong though. I'm calling it Week 0 until I can run all of the intervals. And I WILL run all of the intervals. I'm calling it the "Coma to 5K." :) I have a few running buddies lined up. It'll be fun. I WILL finish the program.
And they have other programs, too. 5K to 10K, 10K to half marathon, and half marathon to marathon. I want to be running a marathon by my 28th birthday. And I will cry as I cross the finish line.
Because this body? This is a body my doctors have told me will never allow me to have children. A body I am told is trying to kill me. But this is a body that, if worked with, nurtured and trained, will allow me to accomplish anything. Even running a marathon.
And when that day arrives, I will rejoice in all that my body is capable of, how far I have come and how very much it means to my health and my quality of life. I don't care if I'm never not fat, because, hey, I love me. I just want to keep up with my kids WHEN I have them.
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