Nerdy Knits: Twilight Alphabet for Knitters

It's been well over a year, but my Potter Alphabet continues to be my most popular post, by far, outstripping all other posts combined. In that vein, I have decided to continue with a series of sci-fi/fantasy fonts so that you lovelies can let your own creativity shine. SO with out further ado, I present, the Twilight font:

I chose to do all lower case, as the book titles are all written in lower case.

As always, you are free to use this pattern in any way you see fit, provided two things:

1.) Do not sell my charts directly
2.) If you sell an item made using my charts, please credit it back to this page

Other than that, it's free, always will be. Have fun!

New! A Doctor Who font!

On Grief and Grieving

I want to take this opportunity to publicly apologize to my cousin. When her mother, my dear aunt, passed away a few years ago, I was very sad. And I was (internally) snarky every time she said "it's different when it's your own mom." My aunt was like my second mom, I thought it was exactly the same. I was very wrong.

My own mother passed away this year just before Thanksgiving. She had a very unexpected heart attack that took her instantly, no one could have done anything to save her. A month later and I am still not okay. I am so very far from okay. This grief is powerful; it steals my breath and boils my blood. This is a sadness that goes deeper than I have ever felt, even over my aunt. It is more pure than the chronic depression I have battled since adolescence. This is a new beast entirely.

The first few days were just shock. Nothing felt real. I kept trying to wake up, like it was a nightmare I could shake off with a good cup of coffee. Then came the insomnia and anxiety. I was unprepared for the raw panic that hit me. It was unrelenting. I shook, I cried, I couldn't breathe. I was terrified all of the time for weeks. Some therapists actually believe that anxiety should share space with bargaining in the stages of grief, because not everyone bargains. I apparently do not bargain. Now, I am finally sleeping, and the panic has mostly subsided.

Now the anger has settled in. I am furious. I am mad at the universe for taking her away. I am mad at Mom for abandoning me. I am mad at everyone who still has a mother and doesn't appreciate her. I am mad at myself for being such an insufferable tool. I keep lashing out at people, whether or not they deserve it. I cry over nothing. I punch things. I want to scream a primal scream until my throat bleeds. I want to hide under my bed covers and escape into a book. I want to be everywhere and nowhere.

But life doesn't stop for grief, no matter how intense. The dishes need done, classes must be attended, and shopping lists accumulate. So I learned to put away my sadness, anger, and anxiety. I tuck it away, and get on with life until I can't take it any more, and it comes flying out with rage and pain, and takes out anyone near me.

So, no I'm not okay. I think I'm going to be, though, and I'm planning to see a therapist to make sure of that. I don't know if any of my rambling could be helpful to anyone else. I hope there is something in this that is of value. If you have found this because you are in pain and you are not okay either, just know that you are not alone. And I am sorry for that. I'm sorry that you are not okay, I am sorry that you are hurting. But you, like me, will get through this.

I think.

Blendstock~Strawberry Banana Frozen Yogurt

My experiments with the blender have been...interesting. The only things I have made thus far that have been edible have been from other's recipes, and I really wanted to bring you lovelies something original.

Apparently original recipes and I don't blend.

Today, however I made something really yummy by modifying Vitamix's Strawberry Yogurt Freeze. Basically it only calls for a cup of lowfat vanilla yogurt and a pound of strawberries. I subbed plain whole milk organic Stonyfield farms yogurt, as the hubs can't eat lowfat dairy. Also switched out half of the strawberries for frozen banana, and added a squirt of agave nectar to account for using plain yogurt.

Not a great picture, but it is SO tasty, rich and creamy.

A couple of pro tips-

1.)Don't halve recipes which call for a majority of frozen ingredients and which make 4 or fewer cups total. Your blender won't thank you for it.

2.)Peel bananas BEFORE freezing. It isn't impossible to peel a frozen banana, but it isn't pleasant, and thawing and refreezing is not really an option.

I hope you guys are doing well today! <3

Blendstock~Cherry Berry Sunshine Smoothie Recipe

The hubs and I just got a blender. This may not sound all that news worthy, but it's an *investment* blender, so I've been tasked with proving the investment is worth it. 45 days to make epic use of this thing, or it goes back, lol.

The thing is, I've been dealing with a LOT of pain the last few weeks. First, I had an abscessed tooth which needed two rounds of antibiotics before being pulled. Then, I had the extraction, which was itself traumatic and awful. Then, two days later, I developed DRY SOCKET. If you've ever had it, you know why it's in all caps. The worst pain I have ever felt. EVER.

That was 11 days ago (and will be a separate post probably). Today, I am on 15mg of Mobic daily, and doing much better. However, I have to eat when I take my medicine, and that can be tricky with a jaw that won't open all the way, and which causes me to scream in pain whenever I bite down on anything hard.

So this morning when I awoke, I took my medicine and thought "WOOT! I get to make a smoothie!" I just threw this together with ingredients from my fridge, but I thought it was yummy enough to share with you lovelies.

Cherry Berry Sunshine Smoothie

To a high powered blender add-

• 2-3 oz of limeade or lime juice
• 2 tbsp honey or agave (optional)
• 6 oz vanilla yogurt
• 5 large strawberries, stem ends trimmed
• about a half cup of blueberries
• 7 large sweet cherries, pitted
• about a half of a cup of mango chunks
• a handful of dark leafy greens (I used spinach)
• 1 cup of ice

Blend at top speed for about 20-30 seconds, or until smooth. Mine requires you to start at low, and gradually increase speed to maximum. If this is the case for you, the 20-30 seconds are once you've hit maximum. Makes one very large, or two smaller smoothies.

And it is delicious! The thing next to it in the picture is my easy, decadent tasting, but actually not terrible chocolate nut bark with mixed nuts (recipe some other day). Hope you guys are doing better than I am. Enjoy your day. :)

A Word on Mike Jeffries

When CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch, Mike Jeffries, recently went on record as saying that he only wants "beautiful people" to work and shop at his stores, the internet exploded. Apparently, his definition of beauty is very narrow, and does not include the average size woman or larger, or any large male who is non-athletic. For the last week or so, I have seen meme after meme accusing him of hypocrisy by attacking his physical appearance, as he is older, maybe just a touch out of shape and has had extensive "work" done on his face. I admit to posting one or two of them myself.

Today, I want to apologize to Mike Jeffries. When we criticize someone for judging people's worth through looks and then turn around and do the same, we are missing the point. So, sir who will never read this, I am sorry for subjecting you to the same hateful rhetoric you have been spewing. No one should ever have to be made to feel they are not beautiful. I am so sorry that we have perpetuated the culture of judgment while calling for its end. It is wrong-headed and mean.

I also want to apologize to myself for letting my standards slip when I participated in attacking a person for their external appearance. It was childish and I am ashamed of myself. There is never any good reason to do so, and we are only seeking to justify a morally reprehensible act by wrapping it in moral outrage. It is NOT okay. I'm going to have to dig deep to figure out why I let myself get caught in a mob mentality and break my own ethical rules.

Yes, what Mr. Jeffries said was awful, but I suspect it belies a deeper hurt. He acts like a child desperately putting others down to make himself feel better. His history of cosmetic surgery shows a deep and abiding discomfort in his own skin. I suspect he does not truly see himself as beautiful, and so he lashes out from pain and tries to bring others down. By retaliating, we have only ensured his continued self-hatred and misanthropy.

Or maybe he's just a dick. Either way, insulting his looks isn't going to help a thing.

Call him out for his insensitive remarks. Call him out for his exclusionary and shallow business practices. Call him out for making bland, overpriced clothing. But don't make fun of his looks. Don't be a bully. Don't perpetuate a culture of appearance-based judgment.

Don't sink to his level.